Not that you’ve all been just dying to know why I haven’t written for ten days or so, and not that I really owe you an explanation — except that I love my readers and don’t want to stay away too long or leave them out of the loop — but I’ve been in a pretty persistent flareup of some health problems that occur during times of stress, because of changes in the weather, or for no reason other than the Lord allows it.
Or perhaps the Happy Hollisters Mystery Book Club selections I’ve read proved to be so gripping and so thrilling that they brought on physical symptoms that have lain me low. I mean, if the spunky Hollisters’ astonishing search for the Treasure Stone at Lizard Cove doesn’t cause stress, I can’t imagine what in the world would.
But I always rebound from these things, which I refer to, and refer to at times, lo and behold, with somewhat-less-than-sterling character, as Exercises In Character Building. I have no real interest in building the kind of stoic character and fortitude that would, I imagine, cause people to remark about how placid and serene I am in the face of all things vexing. In fact, I have no interest in “building” any character at all — because every time I try, I fail. Badly. The “grit-your-teeth-and-be-a-better-person” approach to self-improvement hasn’t worked so well for me. It probably hasn’t worked so well for you, either.
But I do want, and especially want through these flareups, to become a better person. It’s frankly impossible to remain neutral in the grip of severe, chronic pain; you’re either going to emerge bitter and full of contempt, or at peace and full of hope, although I suppose an all-encompassing numbness is another possibility. But whatever improvement occurs in my character is the work of the Spirit, who endeavors to conform me more and more, and more, especially, during the tough times, to the image and person of Christ Jesus.
This isn’t something I can achieve even when I’m feeling terrific; I most certainly can’t “make it happen” when I’m down. And that’s the point. While I don’t believe that God has struck me with chronic health problems just to work wondrous things in my life — the proximate cause, as my doctor would say, was the big SUV T-boning me on the driver’s side at highway speeds nearly six years ago — I do believe the promise of Scripture that the Lord is magnified in my weakness. God doesn’t delight in my problems, but God will, and does, show me the way through it and make me better in it, if I choose to seek the Divine and not the distress. When I follow that Way, I end up at peace, confident that it’s not all for nothing and not the defining factor or feature in my life.
Nothing about a flareup dulls my voice nor dampens my passion. And so I’ll continue to discuss the faith and the culture around it, call out bullies and bigots, and proclaim a Gospel message that looks like that of Christ, and leads people to him rather than repelling them away from him.
And so we move to my next post . . .