But this time, it’s true. After a terrifically busy spring and summer (I was home only 11 days in all of July) and numerous computer problems, I am back in my own zipcode with a new netbook, and the Winds are blowing your way again — regularly, strongly, passionately, and gusting through the rotten structures of bigotry, bullying, buffoonery, and bloated masculinism. But then, you knew that. That’s why you’re here, whether you’re a friend or a foe of patriarchy.
Nonetheless, I’d like to kick off on a lighter-than-usual note. After all, most of you don’t know me, and if we did meet, “prayerfully hoping to rebuke bigots and patriarchs unto repentance” doesn’t fit well on any business card I might hand you when you ask what I do. One local man made the mistake of asking me if I actually had any interests other than responding to Doug Wilson — a question he is, I think, unlikely to ask again. But your faithful correspondent is, in fact, a fully-orbed, multi-faceted person with diverse skills and experiences, some of which don’t actually involve picketing.
So, in the interest of reacquainting my readers with the force behind Prevailing Winds, here are Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Keely:
1. I learned to drive a backhoe, a Case 580-C, before I figured out how to drive a stickshift car.
2. I have never, not once, eaten a s’more. Borrowing a line from “Everybody Loves Raymond,” I just haven’t seen the need.
3. I am a expert canine taxonomist, which means that I can tell you quite a bit about what kind of breeds make up your dog, and far more than you’d ever want to know about the Russian Borzoi or the Affenpinscher.
4. While working as a newspaper reporter in Odessa, Texas, I once interviewed the Rev. Jerry Falwell — and, as a young Christian newspaper reporter in Odessa, Texas, where I was convinced the unredeemed spent eternity back in the days when I believed in eternal conscious torment, I found it to be an entirely unpleasant experience.
5. I make the best lasagne and the worst from-scratch baked goods you’ve ever eaten.
6. I met my husband of 28 years through the mail.
7. Trout fishing on the banks of any river in the West is my idea of heaven — and yes, I bait my own hook. I learned to fish in Arkansas, where I could pull in catfish as big as skateboards. Trust me. Charlie’s Blood Bait is far more gross than worm guts.
8. I hav seen the movie “Jesus Christ, Superstar” no fewer than thirty times. I just saw all of “The Wizard of Oz” last year. Hated it.
9. I want to decorate my house to reflect my love of vintage travel trailers — especially the Airstream — but I can’t seem to convince Jeff that removing a wall to install a 40s-era vinyl-covered banquette in the kitchen is a good idea.
10. I was baptized in a swimming pool in August 1981 and had wondrous things prophesied over me, except that the pastor kept calling me “Roseanna.” So, for 30-plus years I’ve been unsure about my spiritual destiny and have just now given myself permission to let go of his prophecy that I’ll be an influential TV news reporter in the Northeast. I’m pretty sure he meant to say erstwhile blogger in the Northwest . . .
So there you have it. Now I’ll begin to tackle other things — including, and including not as belatedly as you might think, my response to Doug Wilson’s bewilderment that I could somehow blame the white male power structure in the U.S. for the Trayvon Martin case.
Because you didn’t REALLY think I’d let that go, did you?