I’m fairly certain that none of the signs of the Apocalypse will make their debut in TV commercials, and it’s not at all likely that one of the symbols of the evil upon us will be inscribed on or in any way involve paper towels. Give me a minute, and I’ll give you chapter and verse.
But it’s clear that our culture is in a downward slide and that there’s abundant cause for despair in the hearts of those who seek peace and pursue it, rejoice in truth and proclaim it, and appreciate beauty in the world God’s given us. I’m not a post-millennialist, and so I tend to think things will continue to demonstrate the “sin as leaven” principle throughout our culture until Christ comes. There will be crime, wars and rumors thereof, and rampant debauchery. And, of course, the malappropriation of great songs for commercial purposes.
Nowhere is this greater than in the Brawny paper towel commercial cluttering the late-night airways. A woman, a homemaker JUST LIKE ME, is in the grocery store, facing an entire wall of Brawny paper towel dudes — handsome, hirsute lumberjack-looking Perfect Men — who serenade her with “Lean On Me,” the classic from the great Bill Withers.
(Withers’ follow up single was “Use Me,” but far be it from me to suggest escalating boundary issues).
“Lean On Me” is a great song, a tender song of deep friendship, one that reminds me of my teenage years and one that reminds my dear friend Caroline of me. (Awwww…) It’s not some throwaway piece of pop culture crap, and it’s not one of the scores of forgettable musical slices of the ’70s. And most of all, it shouldn’t be up for grabs in selling paper towels, the presumed benefit from which is significantly less than what Withers promises his friend in the song. If my primary source of philos love is the Brawny guy, I’m in deeper doo-doo than any paper towel can clean up. I suspect Mr. Brawny might also be marketed to remind me of my eros love needs, but I have my own brawny guy for that, thanks.
I cringed when I heard the Beatles’ “Revolution” in Nike ads, and I don’t enjoy listening to the Peaches and Herb classic “Reunited” when I consider my dust mop purchases. “Reunited” reminds me of my heartbreaking relationship with D. P. in my junior year at Cholla High School, which left me feeling quite similar to a mop, curiously enough. “Lean On Me,” though, is in a whole ‘nother category. Please, Mr. Brawny guy — go away. Don’t sing to me. Just give me double-quilted layers and leave my heart alone.
Keely, Keely, Keely,
Where do I start? First of all what are you doing watching TV? Thus exposing yourself to commercials? Blow up your TV! Secondly what are you doing using paper towels? Don’t you have any old clothes/towels/sheets you can use for rags? I can see we’ve got a lot of work to do on you.
Comment by Mary Hughes — April 5, 2010 @ 8:50 pm
“Lean on Me”
By Bill Withers
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow
Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don’t let show
Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me
So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’d understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Lean on me…
———————-
My personal favorite, with just as powerful a sentiment, from the 70s . . .
“Burning Bridges”
By The Mike Curb Congregation
Friends all tried to warn me
But I held my head up high
All the time they warned me
But I only passed them by
They all tried to tell me
But I guess I didn’t care
I turned my back and
Left them standing there
All the burning bridges that have fallen after me
All the lonely feelings and the burning memories
Everyone I left behind each time I closed the door
Burning bridges lost forevermore
Joey tried to help me find a job
A while ago
When I finally got it I didn’t want to go
The party Mary gave for me
When I just walked away
Now there’s nothing left for me to say
All the burning bridges that have fallen after me
All the lonely feelings and the burning memories
Everyone I left behind each time I closed the door
Burning bridges lost forevermore
Years have passed and I keep thinking
What a fool I’ve been
I look back into the past and
Think of way back then
I know that I lost everything I thought that I could win
I guess I should have listened to my friends
All the burning bridges that have fallen after me
All the lonely feelings and the burning memories
Everyone I left behind each time I closed the door
Burning bridges lost forevermore
Burning bridges lost forevermore
Comment by Tom Hansen — April 6, 2010 @ 1:49 am
Mary, Mary, Mary —
Hey, anyone who can spell my name correctly three times deserves an audience. And worry not; I’m not a paper towel user. It’s HandiWipes that make my heart soar.
On the other hand, if I didn’t watch TV, I might miss some late-night “Dragnet” episodes. Can’t risk that. Joe Friday is the brawny guy of my dreams . . .
Thanks for reading,
Keely
Comment by Keely Emerine-Mix — April 6, 2010 @ 2:51 pm
Thanks, Tom. See, I can’t even read the lyrics to “Lean On Me” without misting up! And I’d forgotten the Mike Curb song. Thanks for taking me back a few decades . . . as long as it doesn’t stir up memories of my crushed-velvet, pumpkin-colored, wide-lapeled bellbottom pantsuit.
Please.
Thanks, Tom —
Keely
Comment by Keely Emerine-Mix — April 6, 2010 @ 2:53 pm