… I rarely read “Parade” magazine, because I don’t care about celebrities, gossip, or recipes bursting with downhome wholesome goodness. Kinda hate “wholesome goodness” in describing food, I do.
But Jeff got the Sunday Spokesman-Review, so I read Parade. The last article had a presumably humorous piece on how baby-boomers don’t like to be called by traditional “grandparent” names, and it offers some examples or suggestions for those of us born too recently to EVER “really” be grandparents. Obviously, though, I truly AM old enough, although I’m not, because I got all cranky-like in reading that kids are allowed to call their grandparents things like:
“Mellowman”
“Big (or Bigger) Mama”
GeezerGirl and GeezerGuy
Puggles
Crackpot
Jelly and Buster
Thompson
And may the man who wants to be called “El Funkinator Grande” grandparent nothing more complex than gerbils.
My kids’ maternal grandmother is Emma (for all of my life, kids couldn’t pronounce “Mrs. Emerine,” so they called her “Mrs. Emma.” “Emma” seemed like a sweet grandmotherly name); their paternal is Nana, whose mother, their great-grandmother, was simply “Nan.” Jeff’s dad is “Papa,” (although one of my nieces calls him “Peanuthead,” which I dislike, and my father was “Grandpa Steve.” I had, growing up, a “Papa,” a “Granma Lou,” and a “Mother Dear.” My sons would never have dared, or would only have dared once, to call a grandparent “Geezergirl” or “Puggles or “Jelly.”
I know that it’s affection, not names, that build grandparent-grandchild relationships, but relationships are also built on respect. It’s simply not respectful, and perhaps even disrespectful, to call an elder, any elder, by a name that denotes silliness, insult, or overfamiliarity. My kinda-sorta — chosen — nieces and nephews and my brother’s daughter call me “Aunt Keely” or “Tia Keely,” and Jeff is ALWAYS “Uncle Jeff.” I was raised to call those older than I am by “sir” and “ma’am,” and I continue to do so. I don’t mind if my kids’ friends call me Keely, but I do mind if they do it without asking permission to.
See? I AM conservative about some things!
When either of my sons has a baby, we’ll go for Gran and Grandpa, most likely, or, if the baby’s mother speaks Spanish, Nana and Tata or Abuelito and Abuelita. But I won’t encourage a culture of incivility, disrespect, and overfamiliarity by allowing such silliness. I guarantee “Big Mama” and “GeezerGuy” aren’t taking ANY Mix grandkids to the park, ever.