Oh, Shoot. Forgot Newt. And, Try Though I Might, I Can’t Forget Palin.

In my comments about the GOP presidential candidates, I forgot good ol’ Newt Gingrich, about whom, for me at least, the less said the better. But just so the Coiffed Newt doesn’t feel neglected, I’ll just say this:

If he’s honestly repented to the Lord Jesus of his serial adultery, then he’s forgiven. Period. What I’m looking forward to is his repentance for his dishonest attempts to poison the political process that’s been so very — exceedingly, abundantly — good to him. Take this, for example, from the just-published “Blind Allegiance To Sarah Palin” by former Palin head honcho Frank Bailey:

“. . . Newt Gingrich (was) regularly emailing advice like suggesting she (Palin) not answer difficult questions but instead ‘reframe it into the question she wishes they asked,’ or better yet, ‘When your opponent has posed a question designed to put you on defense, the right strategy is to destroy the very legitimacy of the question and pose a new question of your own.’ ”

I consider any support of Sarah Palin’s political ambitions to be a sign of either sheer lunacy, near-preternatural ignorance, or, as I think is the case here, gross manipulation for personal gain by encouraging the destruction of the political process. Hyperbole? This is Newt Gingrich we’re speaking of; there’s no discussion of Newt, even BY Newt, without an oddly sonorous hyperbole. It fits. And that’s why, when it comes to Newt Gingrich, I think it’s best I move on . . .

Bailey’s book is 380 pages of minutiae dedicated, as far as I can tell, to two things: First, expressing the evangelical Bailey’s presumably sincere regret that he was so instrumental in her rise to prominence in Alaska — he believed her to be “chosen of God,” which, and I say this honestly, puts his grasp of theology in serious question. He also sets out a convincing, detailed, and ultimately damning case that Palin is — surprise! — an unstable, narcissistic, rage-prone prima donna of limited intellectual capability. How this would be a revelation to anyone is puzzling, but Bailey’s repentance seems to require that we understand that he was enthralled with her, charmed beyond reason and righteousness, and yet eventually was left holding the Palin Shitstorm Bag enough times to have his reasoning faculties and moral compass restored.

Good for him, I suppose, although it doesn’t say much for me that I spent the whole night reading the entire thing.

He also drops a bombshell about rival Palin-writer Joe McGinniss, who, according to Bailey, lifted publisher’s draft copies of the Bailey manuscript and circulated the information throughout Alaska and the Capitol. That makes it highly unlikely that I’ll now buy McGinniss’ book, although I suspect it’s a better read. But that’s a tremendous ethical breach, and I can almost hear my tough, print-journalist dad roaring his disapproval from the feet of his Savior in Heaven. Besides, after a night with Frank ‘n Sarah ‘n Todd ‘n Everyone In The World Who’s Out To Get Them, I think I’ll look for something more fun to do.

Like get a spinal tap.

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